Damsel's Club
by ladyspock7
Summary: An AU. Roxanne is Metro City's official Damsel. But when she begins secretly dating Megamind, how will it affect her role?


_**A story inspired by a tumblr blog, advent-of-evil: we know from the Megamind movie that cities have Defenders (or at least Metro City does). Do cities also have official Damsels? If so, what role do they play? **_

_**This is an AU, as will soon become clear.**_

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><p>Megamind eased the hoverbike down towards Roxanne's apartment. He had the stealth mode engaged so his approach was silent, but Roxanne was watching for him. She smiled at him through the plate glass then stepped back into the apartment.<p>

A big smile spread over his face. Megamind put the hoverbike in park next to the rail and activated the invisibility feature.

He leaped over the railing with a flourish of his cape but, sadly, Roxanne wasn't watching. She was looking at a letter in her hands.

He walked through the double doors and slipped his arms around her waist. She laid one of her arms over his and leaned back against him, but she continued to look at the paper in her hand, which, he now saw, was a newsletter for the Nationwide Association of City Damsels.

He nuzzled her hair as he read over her shoulder. "Well, well, well," he said in a singsong lilt, "This year's convention is just a hop, skip, and a jump away in Chicago. We should go."

"What do you mean 'we'?" she said, narrowing her eyes at him.

He laughed, a low rich chuckle that sent vibrations across her back. "Imagine, Metrocity's very own Damsel walking into the convention center on the arm of Public Enemy Number One. Ha ha ha." He ran his fingers lightly over her ribs.

She yelped and shoved the tickling hand away. Turning in his arms she smacked him on the shoulder but he buried his face in her neck, still laughing.

"No way am I taking you into a building full of Damsels!" she said, pushing him away and fixing him with a stern look. "Some of them come with their boyfriends, and most of _them_ are Defenders. They'd have to take turns kicking your ass."

"Aw, you don't have any confidence in me at all," he said, pretending to pout. "Like I can't handle a bunch of preening, spandexed pretty boys. I cleaned the Speedster's clock when he was in town. Not to mention Eagleman, Crimestopper, Captain Attack, oh, and Lady Trinity. The superheroines fare no better against my incredible awesomeness. Shall I go on?"

Metro Man used to take two weeks off annually, but none of his substitutes had proven capable of handling Megamind. The yearly mayhem got so bad that the city council had begged their official Defender not to take any more vacations.

Under the mental strain of being on-call 24/7, year-round, Metro Man's hair had begun to gray over the last couple of years, and there were times when he seemed distracted and harassed, as if his mind were not on the epic battle at hand.

Roxanne said, "Yeah, fine, you wiped the floor with them, but that was one at a time. I don't think you could fight all of them coming at you at once."

He smiled evilly. "You're forgetting the Hero Posse. That was a fun little group." He ran his hands up and down her back. "I promise I won't pick any fights. And societal convention will be on my side. I shall walk in quietly, in a tuxedo, with no threats or villainous monologuing. Those noble heroes won't start anything."

She rested her forearms on his shoulders. "They'll see it as their duty to arrest you."

He waved one hand in the air before wrapping it around her back again. "Eh. They'd get in each other's way, and while they're swinging uselessly at the air, I'll be dodging around behind them, tying their shoelaces together."

She couldn't keep up the stern face. "How evil of you," she giggled. "It doesn't matter anyway, because I'm not going."

He chuckled. "It'd be one hell of a news story," he said, and kissed her. "You'd get the exclusive."

"If KMCP didn't fire me on the spot," she grumbled.

"They wouldn't dare. First, there's your contract. Plus, I'd make their lives miserable with endless bomb threats. And I'll cut off their power. And..."

"Ahh! Enough already!" she said. "Just thinking about it is giving me a headache."

"Okay. We get to keep sneaking around behind everyone's backs." He pulled her hips close and kissed her again.

"You love it, don't you?" she murmured after a moment. They rested their foreheads together. "I can't believe you haven't even told Minion yet. I thought you'd brag it up to all your bad guy friends that you scored with the Damsel."

He pretended to be shocked. "A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell," he said loftily.

Secretly he didn't really want to tell anyone. There were a few places where he got together with his uncles and their friends once in a while, but he didn't want to tell them about Roxanne. They'd cheer and holler and slap him on the back, and act like he was putting one over on the city's Defender. Everyone still thought Roxanne and Metro Man were an item.

That didn't bother him, but he didn't want them talking about Roxanne as if she were just a trophy that he'd won. Though he did feel as if he _had_ won, in a way. He had won the heart of the woman he loved, and he felt like the happiest man in the universe.

Minion would just fuss and worry, and come up with all kinds of worst-case scen-ah-rios. Better to keep his new relationship with Miss Ritchi quiet, until he could find the best way to let Minion know.

Still, there was such a thing as pride, and he did have an image to maintain, even with his lady love. "There will be plenty of time for bragging after I convince you to be my Queen. Together we will bring this city to its knees."

She snorted. "Not going to happen, spaceman." She sighed and looked down at the newsletter again. "I need to find a way to retire quietly."

"You don't have to retire. I won't tell on you. You're not sorry, are you?" he said playfully. "About seducing me?"

She burst out laughing. "Oh, I think it's an open question about who seduced whom. And absolutely not," she said, looking deep into his gorgeous eyes, and their lips met.

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><p>On the rooftop across the street, Minion sighed and lowered the binoculars. At least now he knew why the boss had been so preoccupied lately.<p>

"I can't believe he didn't tell me," Minion said to the two brainbots. They blinked and bowg-ed. Hesitantly, one of them began to fly across to Miss Ritchi's apartment.

"No, no! Stay!" Minion said in alarm, and it flew back to his side. _I'd really be in trouble if he knew I was following him. _

The fact that Megamind hadn't even suspected he was being followed was a little disturbing. Minion wasn't sure which upset him more, that Megamind had fallen for The Girl or that he seemed to be losing his edge.

Grimly, Minion stowed the binoculars back in the case, got back on his own hoverbike, and returned to the lair.


End file.
